Dang Feet...If I Didn't Need Them I'd Cut Them Off

At the beginning of chemo I had some pretty intense bone pain (the chemo drugs) and so I was given a narcotic to ease the pain.  I have continued for the majority of the nights needing that lovely pill to be able to sleep, to comfort the legs.  After the last round almost six weeks ago, I figured that this pain would go away as the chemo drugs become diminished in my system.  A couple weeks ago the discomfort in my lower legs, particularly the burning in the bottom of the feet (paresthesias) elevated and I truly had trouble sleeping.  Dang, dang.  I was down to just a small amount of pills.  When I went in for my last Herceptin infusion (almost three weeks), this was the first time that I did not see a medical provider, so didn't have a chance to chat, but then figured that the paresthesias would be lifting really soon, as they had always lifted within a couple weeks, three at the most, post chemo drugs.  The paresthesias in my hands (mild numbness, not painful) are still with me today and the burning in my feet never goes away, seems to escalate during the day as I'm active, so by night again it's hard to sleep.  Finally, last week I had run out of pills and out of patience (called being sleep deprived) and called the Cancer Center, had a chat with one of the PAs, and it appears that I may have chemotherapy-induced neuropathy in my feet/lower legs.  This is not good, as it may never go away.  I was given some more pain medication and a new drug called gabapentin to get me through until I can see my oncologist this Friday.

I looked up gabapentin, and it is given to people who have seizures, to people who have pain caused by shingles, and to people who have neuropathy (like diabetic neuropathy, or in my case, chemotherapy-induced neuropathy).  It's suppsoed to block those nerve endings from communicating with the brain?  or something like that.  As long as I have my gabapentin at night and a pain pill, well I sleep wonderfully, but that has me worried.  Could I just not have the neuropathy and do away with the medication?  That would be my wish.

I'm totally deconditioned--called months of not doing anything...well if healing and dealing with chemo count as "not anything," and so yesterday decided that it's time to start walking, so I put on my socks and laced up loosely my walking shoes.  Didn't get very far, but it's a start.  The whole time walking my feet hurt (the torture of being inside shoes), the pins and needles of paresthesias/neuropathy.  The walk was doable, but not comfortable.  Went again this morning, traveled a bit farther, but again not comfortable. 

I HATE CANCER!!!