The Night Owl

It's early Tuesday morning, May 22, 2012, and I've been awake since 3 a.m.  Sleeping, I think, is a constant nag for middle-aged women such as I, but even harder now for me. 

The good news?  I am a stay-at-home mother, work-at-home mother which means I can sneak in a nap today, which I will definitely do, probably after I get Jared off to school.  I plan to drive him (haven't done that for a couple weeks), 'cause I want use of the van today to run an errand. 

I'm starting to come out of my "chemo fog" from the last round a week and a half ago.  Ugh.  I hate chemo.  I think the cumulative effects are really kicking me. 

Hey, I got my first round of housecleaning yesterday.  The "professionals" came...a short Hispanic lady, her daughter and daughter's friend (both looked like they needed to be in school themselves).  I was told to let my crew know what I wanted them to do.  Per the Cancer Society lady, "they'll do whatever you ask.  I had one lady ecstatic that her oven is now sparkling clean because that's what she needed done."  I, on the other hand, discovered a MAJOR language barrier.  Basically, they had a plan in the time allotted, and I found myself in the garage planting some pots while trying to stay out of the way.  Anyway, I have these "free" hours and have decided to definitely take advantage of them.  I did have to laugh, though, when I was at my computer paying bills and heard the lid on the cookie jar get lifted. 

We're all excited to have Tony come home, and he's just excited to come home, per his email yesterday.  That is the highlight of this week/month, perhaps the entire year!!  I'm really excited and will probably resort to one of those pills that will help me to "shut down" that I have stored away in the cupboard.  I try not to abuse them and only occasionally use one, so I think Wednesday night sleep will be important and I will need one. 

Why Does It Take a Round of Chemo to Get Me Back on this Blog?

Well, it's almost 2 a.m. the day after Mother's Day, which by the way was a lovely day.  Truly.  I felt well enough to go to Sacrament Meeting and then to have wonderful phone visits with Tony and Victor (both doing very well, although T is major trunky.  I know that he's under the two-week mark, but he reminded me that it's "11" days). 

Bone pain started kicking in evening and I got behind on my meds, thinking that my narcotic was every six hours (which is actually the antinausea med), but I can take my narcotic every four hours.  I started out with one pill, but am now needing two.  I'm aching, but not in extreme pain.  Well, with the steroid that has the #1 side effect of insomnia and jitteriness, I'm not sleeping, but am resting at least.  In 15 minutes, I can take a dose of narcotic and hopefully finally drift off to some much-needed sleep.

Last round, in case I haven't recorded, was much better for pain control and even the dreaded diarrhea.  However, I suffered much more from nausea and even had some vomiting, which comes on very suddenly.  I find myself sitting very quickly on the floor so that I don't pass out and fortunately every time either Jared or Rafael has been in the area to hand me a bowl.

This last drip session (last Friday) I had added an add'l antinausea drip (so two now), and am taking my oral meds faithfully at home...thus far working very well. 

I do feel very blessed.  I am learning the lesson of relationships and how important they are to me.  My family is my greatest blessing, and I am trying to take a bit more care in how I treat those I love.  I feel embarrassed when I look back and haven't taken care as I could.

I look forward to having Tony come home soon.  I know that I need to take care of myself, so am recruiting Jared to help make a poster or two...we need to have him truly feel welcomed.  We plan to pick him up at 8 a.m. at the airport and take him to the Pantry (Lion House) for breakfast.  We were thinking about going to City Center (now that it's completed and we haven't seen it yet).  I asked Tony what his preference is, and he has only request...to attend the temple, any temple, before being released.  J wants to get back to school in the afternoon, as he doesn't want a full-day absence (good student, that kid).  Perhaps we'll do breakfast and City Center, then bring Jared back to school and then go the temple in the afternoon w/Tony.  I know--we are very fortunately to be able to choose a temple and have it fit into our schedule.

I'm doing well, truly.  I've met some people during my infusion sessions and I count myself blessed to fight the battle I have versus the battles being fought around me. 

I know that my Heavenly Father is aware of me.  I feel very blessed.